November thanksgiving 8: lactation consultant

Yesterday I noticed again, in passing, that Beloved Life is a lactation consultant. I had frequently thought of dropping her an email expressing my gratitude for the role our lactation consultant played in the early days of our son's life. So yesterday, I did:

I just have to tell you how important our lactation counselor was in helping me through the early days of our son's life. I was in shock for awhile. His immediate success at nursing was such a boon. It gave me something to work on; it gave me a vision of him being successful; it created that bond from the physical intimacy of nursing. I will never forget that woman: Diane. I am so grateful to her.

When I was pregnant, I learned that Earth Mothers were not the only women nursing. I took infant care classes at the hospital and read a number of books. I learned the nutritional and emotional benefits of nursing, and decided to give it a try. The Lamaze teacher warned* we would have to be aggressive about getting the help of a lactation consultant, in the maternity ward. The other hospital staff would not make it their priority.

I am so thankful to God that I was prepared to do this, before entering the hospital. Once our son was born, bathed, and awake, the lactation consultant came in to assist. He latched on and was able to nurse right away. She said that he was doing better than some of the babies in the nursery. (He spent two and half days in the NICU, to stabilize body temperature, blood sugar, and bilirubin levels.) This was where my connection to my child began. He was not summed up by the label "Down syndrome." He was a learner. He was successful. There was something I could give him that he needed.

I went to the NICU every three to five hours around the clock for the first three days, to nurse. I had one or two terrible experiences during the night when the lactation consultant was off-duty. The nurse on duty had no patience; she inserted a tube in our son's nose and gave me a bottle to squeeze formula in. By the third day, I raised a fuss and had a staff person from Patient Relations in my room.** Our son was moved out of the NICU and into my room, for his last night in the hospital.

Because I was nursing, this (Catholic) hospital allowed me to stay on in my room, at no cost, after my insurance quit paying for it. They stopped the meals and the regular checkups by the nursing staff, but I got the bed and the shower. If another mother had needed the bed, I would have had to leave. God blessed us, and there was room in that inn, at that time--because I was a nursing mother.
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Beloved Life noted that another benefit of nursing, for her, was the feeling of control it can give the mother of a newborn with special needs. I hadn't thought about this experience for a long time. I think nursing also gave me a feeling of personal competence: I am successful at nursing this child; I can meet his needs in the future. And the feeling radiated out from there to the hospital staff. I can feed this child; I can take care of him; he is my child, even though you are poking him with needles every three hours, isolating him in boxes of glass and karyotypes, and subjecting him to rock music and conversation about Julia Roberts' latest during the night. We belong to each other.

*This was probably my firstclue to my impending role as an advocate for my child.
**His vitals were in the safe range and stable; he was hooked up to a heart monitor for no reason.